How To Get Your Kids To 18 Without Hating You

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How To Get Your Kids To 18 Without Hating You

 

The Guardian Newspaper wrote an interesting article relating to this very topic…

Below they mentioned the following points

Slapstick will disarm toddlers

The best, simplest advice is to get stuck in and ask for help from anyone within reach. What else are you going to do?

1. I was lucky enough to have my kid with exactly the right person. Lots of people aren’t. It has to be someone who shares your fundamental values and your loftiest dreams, and has infinite reserves of patience, kindness, humour and passion. They must think equally highly of you. Otherwise, just get a dog, seriously.

2. The first year is a doddle – once you surrender to the fact that your time is no longer your own.

3. You can’t be too kind or too patient, or too silly with toddlers: your first response in any difficult situation should be slapstick. Toddlers are the funniest creatures on earth: wild as wombats, but with human features and habits.

4. You now have to get up early every day, including all holidays for the next 14 years. Then, your body clock will be so warped you’ll stand over your teenager at 8am, ranting that the day’s half-bloody-over.

5. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a siesta being the highlight of your weekend. Mike Power

I wasn’t ready for adolescence

I enjoyed early parenthood hugely. Aspects of my father that I didn’t know were within me came to the surface. I was, in my daughter’s words, Fun Daddy.

What I wasn’t prepared for was adolescence. I found it very hard to cope with the mood swings, the inexplicable anger and particularly my daughter’s need to stay in her bedroom all day, only to emerge at mealtimes to fight with her brother. My failure to deal well with adolescent behaviour damaged my relationship with both children, and our relationship has never recovered.

I realise now that I didn’t have a typical adolescence. I liked my parents and I grew away from them slowly. There was never any shouting, there were no rows. I enjoyed their company and they enjoyed mine and then I went away to university, got a job, and got married and came back as an adult. Nothing prepared me for my two teenagers’ changing personality.

What I wish is that someone had explained to me, in that first happy decade: “You are having a wonderful time with your angelic infants now, but one day they will change and be inexplicably horrible, and you have to be prepared for that and roll with it.” Adrian Mourby

Don’t do what I did

My two boys are grown up now, established in their own lives. I had them very young, one after the other, and had to wing it. So my first tip is not to have children before you’re old enough or mature enough to handle the responsibility – so easy to say!

The rest are based on life experience and from seeing parents in my family oriented urban neighbourhood, who could definitely benefit from them …

Teach children to say please, thank you and excuse me​, pretty much as soon as they can talk a bit – it will make them nicer to be around and smooth their path through life.

Teach kindness and consideration​ for other people​, but you’ve got to lead by example. Do as you would be done by is an old-fashioned – some might say aspirational – motto, but useful.

Dish out chores from an early age, making it fun so it becomes second nature​. Otherwise, you create a rod for your back. A friend whose 22-year-old daughter still lives at home doesn’t even clear her plate from the table and leaves used mugs all over the house. Guess who has to remove them and ends up feeling like a powerless nag?

Relax about food. If you’re anxious about vegetables – or whatever – your child will turn into a refus​​nik who just says no. Especially when it’s so much fun to see you agonise. If kids are hungry they will eat – they are not martyrs – whether it’s broccoli or beef cheeks. And don’t provide separate “kids’ food” once they are on solids – it just encourages them to be faddy. If they eat the same as you do – and with you at table, ideally – they will enjoy ​a wider range of food and be interested in new flavours and textures.

Don’t spend longer than necessary on your mobile in their company. They will get the message that screens are more important and interesting than people ​and get antsy, probably loudly – and who could blame them? Rachel Douglas

Follow your instincts

Ditch the parenting books, and that comes from someone who’s published one. One of my most miserable memories of early motherhood was inflicting Gina Ford’s Contented Little Baby regime on my admirably resistant newborn. Timed feeds in darkened rooms with no eye contact at night. Result? Screaming baby and miserable mother. I thought taking control and imposing a routine with the help of an “expert” was the right approach. It wasn’t. If only I’d had the confidence in those early days to follow my own instincts.

 

To read more about this topic please visit the original article here at theguardian.com

 

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